My results from visiting Dr. P at SB&J yesterday....

My appt was at 9:15.  I signed in at 9:10, I'm not arriving any sooner 'cause they aren't on-time so why should I be?!  And the wait began....

The wait, well let's just say I got about 2 hours of work done in the waiting room.  Then I was called back into the room, and opened my lap top to begin my wait (again!) and in walks Dr. P.  My jaw almost hit the floor; one, because he was fast, and two, because he was GORGEOUS!

He started asking questions, I answered, he immediately found my bad right knee (not what I was there for, but he was so concerned because he couldn't figure out what was holding the knee together, laugh), then he was kind and didn't probe on my neck (thank you Dr. P!) and ordered an MRI for next Thursday on both the neck and knee.  NO RUNNING and NO STANDING ON YOUR HEAD IN THOSE YOGA POSITIONS he said, not until we see the MRI.  I laughed, told him not to worry about standing on my head, I can't do that anyway.  He smiled, I know I was drooling!

He told me I could do the stationary bike, rowing machine, and try some weights, and yoga, but no pushing though any discomfort.  (You push through the discomfort in yoga, but not the pain, so now I'm suppose to reach the discomfort and stop, ok, I'll try that....)  I laughed, I told him I couldn't do weights 'cause they hurt my hands/arms from the arthritis and fibro.  He said I was too young for all that, I agreed and asked him if he'd like to speak to my rheumatologist?  He said seriously, I said as a heart attack.  He backed off, and it's a good thing he did, I'm touchy about that.  I may look healthy on the outside, but live in my body one day and you'd take almost drastic measures to end the pain!

I was getting ready to turn on the charm when he rolled his chair back and said, you didn't come in here for this, but let me help you.  I know runners carb load, so stop carb loading.  I said, I have not loaded since the wreck, no need in it, no running, no need for the energy.  He said no carbs then, it will help you pull off the weight while you're sedentary, exercise doesn't make you lose weight.  Ok, I know that statement should've sent me running the other way, but dang he was cute and I needed that MRI on my neck 'cause I need to run again, I just laughed, because if he knew how much weight I had lost because of exercise, he'd change his mind. And I have to remember, different strokes for different folks and this folk believes in exercise!

Anyway, back to the charm, he said, I eat no carbs during the week but on Sunday I eat whatever I want with my kids.  GOD!  He had to bring kids into the equation.  No charm for him!  And I was so hoping....

Then like that, he was gone and I was on my way downstairs to set up the MRI appt.

One day, one day, maybe, I'll find that someone I can turn on the charm for and it will work...laugh.

Until Thursday though, I have to continue to deal with the neck pain and constant headache...say a prayer for me, it's taxing - mentally and physically.  I'm really exhausted from hurting 24/7.

Merry Christmas!

In memory of Teresa Maye Stewart....

Final good-byes are always hard, especially when it's someone you were close to, and you grew up with, and the memories are so vivid, it's as if they happened only yesterday.

I see Teresa's smiling face every time I close my eyes, or stop and think about her. Or when I do something that brings back a memory.  Of all the family I've lost, for some reason Teassie is staying with me.  I'm not sure why, and I sure can't explain it, but I feel her.  On some level it's very erie, but then I remember to use my spiritual eyes and know it's okay.  When I think about her, tears fill my eyes, both out of happiness for her peace with God and sorrow because I miss her and all of her quirkiness.

Teassie lived with her pack of 12 German shepards, and made sure she saw her mother every day (or at least spoke to her).  She protected herself from this world as best she could, especially after having men she loved beat on her.

She helped every one she could, even when they stabbed her in the back (and even when she knew the knife was coming, she still helped) hoping she could be a light and they would change for the better.

She never met a stranger, and I mean NEVER!  She was a Ravencraft with a mouth, and the Long (her father's last name) was only seen in her facial features.  She only ate chicken breast when we had chicken and we always saved her one because she was always late for the gathering due to working or helping someone.  She always wanted momma to make potato salad and she would grab the bowl and run, laugh.

This time she wasn't late, and I ate more chicken breasts than I care to admit in her honor (and I don't like white meat from a chicken, too dry, laugh).

Her IQ was higher than anyone I ever met, literally.  She finished high school at 16 and was teaching the teachers, she could've been anything, anyone she wanted to be, yet she stayed close to her momma, as all of us Ravencraft's tend to do.  We won't be too far from our family, if we can help it!

I could go on and on, but you'd have to know Teassie to understand what I write, and I could write a book.

God knows I miss her, more than words or actions can say, but knowing her life, I wouldn't call her back for nothing in this world.

Death is final, in this life, but memories are forever!

I hope and pray she never leaves me.  I would be honored if she was the one to walk with me to the other side.

I love you Teresa!

Pain....

I've only heard of people shutting down when they are in pain, but I've never experienced it before, with all my ailments, until now...at this very moment I literally feel my body shutting down.

The pain in my neck and left arm are so debilitating that I'm not sure how to stop it.  I've seen the chiropractor, I've taken all the meds I know to take and still the pain is so ever present.  Sleep is hard to come by when this happens, and that makes for a very long work day.  So much so that I find myself fighting sleep as I work, and worried I'll miss something and mess up because of my lack of focus.

I can't help but say "Why me? Why now?" and yet I know there are no answers to such foolish questions.

In the famous writings of King David, Psalm 30:5 (KJV) - "...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

I'm waiting for my morning....

Lady Gaga

I love Lady Gaga.  

Let me explain.  I love her music, well most of it.  I'm not really sure what she stands for, but that's not why I love her.  I love her because I love how she scandalizes people with her appearances.

I've seen interviews with her and still do not know what makes her tick.  I think it's all a show, but who knows, sometimes people are just as weird as their music.  

I think she's capable of pulling off anything and getting away with it.  And I think those who do not like her, do not like her because, secretly, they wish they had the nerve to do what she does without worrying about ridicule.

I watched the grammy's last night, well not really, they were on because I wanted to see what she did on stage, so as they were going on, I was reading "Until Tuesday" (excellent book btw!).  Then up popped LG and I stopped reading and turned up the volume.  I do not know what song she was singing, as I watch the singers mouth to understand them and I couldn't see her mouth from the make-up, which was cool - the make-up. After her show, I turned off the tube and continued to read until about 10PM (very unusual for me, but my neck was hurting and I couldn't sleep, so I read).

Usually I find artist like LG too weird or out of my 'moral system' to even entertain the thought of 'following' them, but I have every cd LG has put out, thanks to my brother-in-law, and I listen to her when I run, so yes, I admit it, I'm a Lady G closet fan.

And with that, I'll close my rambling...I just had to let those who missed LG last night, know you missed another weird performance, laugh.

Go Lady G!

The day after migraine outing....

Ok, so those of us who have migraines know there are three things that trigger them (1) food, (2) stress, and (3) hormone fluctuations.  I had been fighting at migraine all week last week, and after Tuesday night yoga, I thought I had dodged the bullet.  Wednesday, no headache.  Then Thursday, bam, right in the forehead, and it got worse as the day progressed, so I ended up leaving work around 3PM and spent all day Friday in bed.  

Now, those of us with migraines, also know that most of us get fair warning when we are about to have them.  For me, it's the smell of smoke from burning leaves, don't ask me why 'cause I do not know! All last week, that's all I smelled, and Saturday the smell left, but promptly returned Sunday, and so yet again I'm smelling burning leaves and have a nagging headache.

Most of us with migraines, also know that food - the site, the smell, is nauseating, so most of us don't eat while we are migraining (my new word!).  So Saturday, when I woke up with no migraine, no burning leaves, I decided to go with my family to see my sister and brother-in-law on the coast.  Needless to say, I had two days forth of eating to catch up on, so when we went to lunch, Logan's by the way, I had a plate full of food and ate every bit of it, plus about 4 rolls.  Then we shopped 'til my mother was about to drop, and we stopped for ice cream.  I had the lady give me a double scoop of sherbet on a waffle cone - darn skippy!  

My brother-in-law has never seen me eat as much as I did Saturday, and was so infatuated with the fact I could put so much food away, that every time I looked up, he was videoing or taking a picture of me eating.  ROFLMBO!

Needless to say, by the end of the day I was dealing with carb and sugar overload, and my body wasn't happy AT ALL!  And I'll admit, I felt GUILTY, but after a day and a half without eating much, if anything, I was going into starvation mode - or so that was my excuse.

I'm not sure why I am still smelling burning leaves, other than the stress is still sitting on my shoulders, so I'm off to see the chiropractor, to let him undo the stress and my goal for the week, to not let anything get to me.  I can't handle migraines anymore.  The older I get, the worse they become, if that is even possible.

This weeks mantra: "I will not stress and I will not get a migraine!"

Peace out....

Yoga strikes again...

Savasana or corpse pose, is the last pose after one has given their all on the mat.

I tend to leave a great deal of baggage on my mat, almost as much as I do on the altar at church.

My mat, and yes it's MY mat, and should something ever happen and I am no longer able to practice, I will burn my mat to keep it from 'talking', smile.

My past haunts me daily, no matter how much I give it to God, or say I've left it on the mat, I always manage to pick it up on my way out the door (of the church or the yoga studio).

However, I find that when Tammy starts our yoga practice, something always finds it way to the surface and I spend half of my time fighting tears or half of my time sniffling because I can't control the tears.  I know it is annoying for others to hear someone sniffling when they are trying to concentrate on their practice and I work very hard not to sniffle, but I'm no good at hiding my emotions.  I only hope they think I have a cold, after all, it is that time of the year, smile.

Back to Savansana, it's a time for silence, for listening, but if one watches me, I'm moving some part of my body, it's very subtle, but I can't lay still and I can't stand the silence.  In the silence my past finds me and I can't change it, nor deal with it, so I keep moving.

Tuesday night, as we lay there, Tammy instructed us, as she always does, to be still, relax, listen to the breath, and you know what I was thinking about - getting a hamburger after class because I was too tired to cook when I got home; a friend and the situation she's found herself in; how I didn't want a migraine, as my body was working on conjuring one up; and lastly, I hate this pose, how am I suppose to be still with all these thoughts running through my head.

Now, after a yoga class I eat healthy, I mean, I've just sweat off about 10 lbs, so I'm not putting it back in my mouth, so why in the world was I thinking about a freakin' hamburger?  My minds way of protecting me from the baggage that lays in-wait for me to 'be silent in my semi-stillness.'

Tammy would probably make be pay for those thoughts, so I'm not tagging her (laugh).

I feel like I've embarked on this journey and I have no control (and Melissa doesn't like no control - I am the definition of a control freak!).  I'm not sure where I'm going, where I'm being lead, and part of me wants to fight it, and part of me is tired of fighting the demons and is ready to follow.

Now if only the tears would stop....

God bless and Namaste!

As promised, a picture of the wedding cake that almost caused me to go to drinking, grin.  It was very pretty and fun to work with. Next time, no way will I take a wedding cake order a week and a half before the wedding day.

This was my one, and only, good deed for bride and grooms (yeah we know I'm lying, but work with me here, laugh).

I hope the happy couple lives happily ever after....

Cake disasters a plenty...

Ok, at no time have I ever claimed to be a professional cake decorator.  I'm a Buddy wanna be, and I can make some awesome cakes, but when I screw up, man do I screw up.  

Example, I'm making a wedding cake for Saturday.  It's consists of 4" tall, 16" squared, 12" squared, and a 6" tall 8" squared cake.  It's enough to feed 300-400 people, but only 65 people will be attending the wedding (at best).

The bride's aunt waited until last Tuesday to find a cake decorator and my sister volunteered me and I'm a sucker to help people in a pinch so I agreed (against my better judgement).  

So the first three 8" layers were no problem.  Then last night, I baked up the first of two, 12" cakes, and when I went to flip the cake over on the make shift cooling racks, which my sister and I had famously decided to tie together with bread ties, we forgot to put all four hands on the cake and when I flipped, half the cake hit the table and floor.  

At that point, I reached over and grabbed my glass of ever so red wine, said cheers and chugged.  Then I proceeded to clean up the mess and give the cake to my Daddy.  Samson, my chichi, took care of what was on the floor (and dug himself into insanity all night).

My sister and I just looked at each other and I calmly walked over and started mixing up another batch for the oven.

Now, on any other night (or day), if that would've happened, I would've cussed like a sailor and made sure everyone heard me, but I realized, nope it's just a cake, I can make another one, lesson learned.  I didn't use the make shift cooling racks, I used my cake board, which is what I should've done in the first place, but naw, so I had no one to blame but myself.

With that confessed, I'm more determined than ever to make this cake the prettiest wedding cake ever seen by man, we'll that's the motivation, the reality is, it's a cake and something else is bound to go wrong, cross your fingers, toes, say a prayer, meditate for me, what ever your poison is, I just need the 2 16" layers to come out of the oven without a hitch and for them to icing up perfectly, and for the cake to not fall apart before the cake is cut.

I should be very nervous and worried, it's someone's wedding cake after all, but nope, I'm viewing it as just another cake, and hopefully that will keep me from panicing and doing the 'holy crap, i'm doing a wedding cake, what if I....", which I do with other people's cakes.

I'll post a picture when it is set-up tomorrow afternoon, and would be happy to have lots of praise from all of my followers, just to make me feel good about it, 'cause Lord knows I've worked my butt off already and am making absolutely no money off of this deal, just doing a good deed.

And with that said, my sister reminded me last night, as I was discussing the above, a closed hand can not receive anything, but an open hand receives abundantly, so I guess you could say my hand and heart were definitely opened when I heard the story and took on this cake.

May God bless the bride and groom, and may they have a wonderful life together.

In Christ,

Melissa

What happens on the mat, stays on the mat...

And I was going to leave last night's yoga session on the mat, but after thinking about it, I've decided to share.

The class was small, 3 of us, plus Tammy.  Before she made it in the door 2 of us unloaded our issues on her.  Let me stop here and say, God gave Tammy broad shoulders to help carry others loads.  Then as we settled on the mat, Tammy read us a piece on 'tears'.  Nothing mind boggling, just tears, then the next thing I hear is a sniffle.  Then, I hear it again, and I realize it's me this time sniffling.  She finished her reading, then we began our practice on the mat.

The practice for me last night was very challenging, for some reason after that reading, I lost my concentration and reason for being in the class.  I fell twice on the same pose, something I've never done, but I got back up and continued on - unhurt.

I continued to struggle through the poses, and had a clenched jaw the entire time, unless Tammy was reminding me to relax.

Tammy slipped one in on us, a three legged chaturanga.  I have no upper body strength, and Tammy had my back, right leg, making me keep it strong, then she said "now lower down to three legged chaturanga".  I laughed out loud I think, and tried to slowly lower my body to the mat, but in the end I just flopped down, shaking.  Tammy definitely enjoyed herself too much, smile.

Then came savasana, my body LOVES savasana time, but my mind HATES it!  I can't "just be" in the moment and not think of anything.  Remember, my mind is a wondering-june bug.  As I lay there, I started to cry, again.  Dam* I was one big emotional body just laying there not able to control anything.  Not in control of anything!!!!!!!!  At that moment I realized, I wasn't made to control everything, just what is within me.  It's God's job to control everything, and I'm to take care of me, and be there for those around me, but I can't control anything anyone does, other than me.  I'M NOT IN CONTROL of other people and their decisions (nor the results of their decisions)....

So as I left The Yoga Room, I cried all the way home.  Now I realize this wasn't safe, especially for someone with night blindness, but God was merciful and saw the cleansing going on and allowed me to make it home safely.

The Yoga Room, for me, has become a place where I can go and not be judged for my past, my present, and my future mistakes.  No one is out to get me there, as they are there for their own healing.

I'm slowly regaining Melissa back, as I slowly learn the lessons the mat has for me.  Let me stop here and add, the mat is the only place I stop and actually listen to my body, to God, as I spend the rest of my time taking care of everyone else and not taking care of me, so it seems natural to me that God would meet me in a place where I'm trying to learn to 'silence' the mind.

I'm starting to feel like there is another chapter waiting to be written in my life.  One with less heartache, less pain, and with more blessings from God.

This, as I stand on the mat and wait for God....

~~~~~~~~

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."

II Chronicles 20:17 "Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you."

Yoga resumes...

My yoga practice has resumed, thank you God!  My first evening back at The Yoga Room was exhilarating.  I sweat like I was in a hot yoga class, my body shook when holding poses longer than a few breathes and I was consistently reminded to 'breath'.  I was also reminded that breathing keeps me present, in the room, on the mat, and doesn't allow my mind to wonder, as my mind is a wondering june bug when I do anything that involves 'silence' on my part.

I know the definition of a guru, and I know the fundamentals of having one - I've read all the books and while I view Tammy as 'my guru' I only practice the physical fundamentals of yoga. And while others may have problems with my way of practicing yoga, Tammy seems to be fine with it and that makes me a follower of hers.

Tammy is a very calm, very reassuring person.  With her background in medicine,  she is very aware of injuries and how they effect different people; therefore, if she knows your history, she will taylor the class to help with your aliments.

Yesterday evening, I was lucky.  I happened into a class of only 4 other students, which meant Tammy could taylor and spend extra time with us as we needed.  When class started, she was pleasantly surprised, I think, to find that I had not forgotten what she had taught me months and months ago.  She helped correct a few poses and when we started on the neck, she was there like a guru should be with her pupil.  She fixed my back shoulder blades, helped me get the arch up in my back (which I am currently unable to do due to a pinched neve back there), and reminded me to lift my chin and push down btwn my ears.  Ahhhh, sweet release!  

As I was leaving, Tammy smiled and said "Epsom salt".  Hmmm, I knew what that meant, without a doubt - I'd be sore in the morning.  I thanked her and started home.  All the way there, I could feel my body starting its 'engine'.  What had been lying dormant was waking up!  By the time I arrived home, I was ready to run a marathon (my dream anyway!).  I fed me, fed the dogs, and jumped in the bath with eucalyptus and sea salt, and enjoyed the feeling.

Bed time, bed time for me isn't easy. I take a handful of prescription meds and still find it hard to sleep and once I get there, if I'm awaken, I'm awake for a few hours, at least.

My poor, poor Maebelle (my 4 year old chihuahua, who takes bladder meds 2x day), she tried for what seemed like forever to get me up with whining, nudging.  I could hear and feel her but it all seemed like a dream and I was going with it, then, BAM, right in the mouth, something wet and fast!  Maebelle, she was licking me!  She had to go out and I wasn't waking up, so she resorted to the lick factor.  IT WORKED!  I sat up in bed and looked over at her and if dogs could cross their legs, hers would've been crossed.  I grabbed her and rushed out the door, afraid she'd stop and tee tee if her feet ever hit the floor.  She was sooo happy, her eyes stopped watering...lol.  I put her back in the bed and thought, well I'm up until 2 or 3.  I tucked her back in, pulled the cover over me, adjusted my pillow and sighed, that was the last thing I remembered until I was awaken by the family.  I'd slept through my alarm!  AHHHHHHHH, not good.

As I started to get up, I fully expected to be so sore that I'd have to call in late.  But wait, I stretched, and yes, soreness was there, but not painful.  I stood up, walked around the bed, and nothing but soreness.  Woohoo!  I fed the chickens, fed the dogs, got my gym bag ready, filled up my water bottle, and out the door I went.  Fully expecting at any minute for there to be a catch in the neck, back, somewhere, but nothing.

I went to see my chiropractor, Dr. H., this was the real test, but everything was right were he'd left it Monday.  I wanted to do a glory jig!

My body still feels like it's on a high, but a natural high.  Today is walk day, tomorrow is yoga day, I don't know how long my body will let me stay in this routine, but I'll stay until I can't stay any longer.

God has a way of putting people in our paths to help us get well.  If only we could see that!  Thank you God for Tammy and Dr. H!

Namaste!

Topper's lesson

Yesterday, my game hen was found.  She had been missing since Sunday afternoon.  Topper, named because she is a blue-top game hen, is the best brooding hen one could wish for.  When she went missing, I thought something had gotten her, or scared her into a hiding place that she'd eventually come out of.  Well she showed back up and my daddy made it his mission to find her when she disappeared after he fed her.  He found her, sitting on a clutch of eggs.  The last few times she's tried to sit, I've taken away the eggs because it has been too hot.  

As the sun went down last night, we took her out of her hiding place and when I picked her up she attacked me, I knew she would, but there lay 10 eggs.  10!  I couldn't believe she had been saving up that many eggs to hatch out.  Anyway, I put her eggs in the pen, sit her on the eggs and backed out of the pen and she went ballistic, to say the least.  It took me three tries to get her to sit on the eggs, and the last time I put her on the eggs, I held her down with one hand and pretended to get the eggs with the other and she immediately hit me.  I turned her lose and she started making those hen noises when you know they are talking to their eggs.  (Don't laugh, it really happens!)

As I backed out of the pen and watched her for a few minutes to make sure she was going to take them, I heard God whisper, "See, this is what you do.  You fight back at me, and I have to gently put you back where I want you, hold you there until I can make you see you are safe.  You are in a place where I can protect you.  I can't protect you out there.  If only my people could understand they are safe under my wings (in my hands)."

I sort of held my breathe, not sure what to do next.  I looked at Topper and started to cry.  I thought I had lost her.  I just knew a hawk or dog had gotten her.  When she came back home, I was so very excited.

Then I realized, God was right.  I fight Him, kicking and screaming to do things my way.  Melissa's way is always the best way!  In reality, it's not.  This is how God looks at us vs the world.  His heart is broken every time we sin, and he cries and mourns from the potential loss of a child.  When we return unto Him, He is there with open arms.  We just have to come back home!

I suppose, I'll stop fighting back and start fighting with Him.

Jesus is waiting....  

Confession....

Ok, so they say "Confession is good for the Soul", so here is my confessional.  On my facebook account I had me as single, and I am, but I'm also divorced.

Divorced from a man I dearly love(d), but also hated at times - wrong I know.

I miss him every day and every night I lay down.  I will catch myself thinking something and wondering what his response would've been, and just chuckle to myself to keep from crying.  Or I'll say something he would've said and laugh because I sound just like him.

Our marriage didn't end well, I left to keep one of us from dying.  He was mentally, physically, and financially abusive, and it came to the point where I told him 'He had to go to sleep at some point." It was after those words left my mouth I knew I had to leave, I couldn't allow myself to be pulled down to his level - I wouldn't allow it, nor did I want my parents to get a call that I was dead, courtesy of my husband.

Like I said, it wasn't pretty, and my parents took me in under their wings, yet again, and protected me as much as they could from him.  He sent word multiple times, via multiple people that "if he couldn't have me, no one could".  He would 'stalk' me in other people's vehicles, so I started praying, hard.  I knew the next step, either I was going to die, or he was going to die - via my doings or my father's hand.  I didn't want that to happen, so I prayed for God to move me or move him.  I didn't care if it was via the grave, or out of the city or out of the state, I just couldn't fight anymore.  (I'll spare you my family's suicide watch over me as I was going through all of this, but I will say, my Samson, saved my life.  Thank God for chihuahua's, smile.)

I left him on Halloween 2001, and the divorce was final January 2002.  The judge asked me if I wanted anything, and I looked at him, with tears in my eyes, and said 'my name back'.  He asked me about my things at his house, I said, I have what I need, he can keep the rest, I just want my name back, as I had hyphenated my name only 6 months before because he thought I didn't love him enough to change my name.  Truth was, I just didn't want to lose my daddy's name, that was all!

During our marriage he had developed heart problems that required him to have a pacemaker and I was the perfect nurse, diligent with his food, his meds, his exercise, I never left him and promised I'd never leave his side.  I promised him he'd never die alone, and to this day that promise haunts me.

Around Halloween 2002, I received a phone call from one of his daughters, she said "daddy had a heart attack and died last night".  I responded with no he didn't, he couldn't have a heart attack, he had a pacemaker for Christ sake.  She said no, he had a heart attack, he's gone.

I'm not sure if it was guilt, relief, sadness, physical pain, or what, but I went numb all over.  What had I done?  Why had I prayed for God to move one of us?  This wasn't what I wanted.  Then it hit me, he had died alone.  No one was with him, no family, no friends, no one.  I'd lied to him.

I couldn't go to the funeral, I thought his death was my fault and I didn't want anyone to see me because I was sure they'd know, they'd see my relief, guilt.  His daughter called me after the funeral and said they were cleaning his house out and wanted to know if I wanted to come get my things.  I met her at the house, through tears of love and hate, I gathered my clothes, some books, stuffed animals, and a picture of us on his motorcycle.  (When I finally took the picture out of the frame, years later, I found a receipt of the hotel where we stayed the first time we went to New Orleans.  I know somewhere inside him he loved me, but something changed him, and I couldn't fight it.)  His daughter helped me load up my little Nissan and she asked why the doors wouldn't lock properly and were, for the most part, off the hinges, I told her he was good at slamming doors - which sent my nerves to the moon.  She just hugged me, and said I'm sorry.  I left and that was it, I honestly didn't look back.

I have since been out to the grave site, and at first the hatred for him just poured out, what he had done to us, what he had done to me, what he had caused me to pray, then I could hear him laughing, laughing at me.  I turned and walked away and have never been back to his grave site.

Dreams, at first, I had them every night.  Satan was definitely on his job, but so were my praying parents, and it seemed the harder we prayed the harder satan fought me, then one morning I realized, no dream about him.  Had I finally won the battle?  Yes, now if I dream about him, it's not scary, on my end, but I see him in pain, fearful, hurting, and there's nothing I can do for him.  He's always out of my reach.  I want to help him, I try to reach out and he moves further and further away, and I wake up in a cold sweat calling his name.

My trail of abusive relationships ended with him.  Mainly because I've never allowed anyone to get close enough to hurt me again.  I've built a wall, so high, so thick, so invisible that only my family is allowed over into my world.   I shut off myself to everyone and everything, he became so possessive that he pushed everyone away from us, from me.  This, I know, is my fault.  In this regard, he won, but eventually I'll re-claim the trophy and move on with that part of my life.

One day God will put a man just where he needs to be in order for me to see him, watch him prove himself, as my ability to trust someone, especially a man, is at about 10%.  Again, all my fault, I chose to shut down instead of stand up and fight.  A mistake I will not make again!

This Halloween will be 10 years since I left him.  I think I'm finally ready to move on.  I'm deathly afraid I'll fail, again!  I'm deathly afraid I'll not be able to tear down my wall, but I'm working on it one brick at a time, and maybe, just maybe, when I get a doorway clear, God will allow that someone to walk through who will take care of me, and not use and abuse me.

And to that end, I ask for your prayers, so I can continue with the deconstruction of my wall, so He can send me the man I'm suppose to spend the rest of my life with.

Moving on....

[I have purposefully left out my ex-husband's name, as I don't feel it behooves anyone to talk about the dead.  May his soul be at peace.]

The Uneventful TS Lee Memoir

Day 1: 2 September 2011, The coast is warned of a TS making its way inland, so everyone on the coastlines are making preparations. This will not be another Katrina, but flooding and high winds are on the menu. Oh, let me mention here that my mother decides to go ahead with her foot surgery, as it is a three day weekend for my sister and I - Labor Day, remember those two words.

Day 2: 3 September 2011, TS Lee graces us with his presences, rain bands, high winds, nothing we don't usually see with a thunderstorm, so no biggy. This is until the wind direction begins to change and the rain bands become more intense. The way the trees are bending have me serious frightened - gun shy from Katrina I suppose. My sister and I team up and cook for the day 'cause there's nothing else we can do, but go outside and get wet - not an option. We do laundry, and nap...yeah baby, naps are always on the menu at our house.

Day 3: 4 September 2011, Tornado warnings out the waahoo! Geez, Lee could've been nice and just been a rain dumper, after all, we seriously needed the rain. All my trees and plants think they have died and gone to heaven! Delirium is setting in for me and my sister. Cooking and cooking and more cooking 'cause mother couldn't get on her foot, remember foot surgery. When we aren't cooking/cleaning/doing laundry, we are napping - what else can one do during a rain event? Oh, Jim Cantore made his way down to Biloxi to witness a squall line come in. Now you tell me how many squall lines has this man seen? They all look and act the same, so why waste the time/gas to even make the trip? We could've sent him footage! (I love Jim Cantore, but it seriously bothers me when he shows up doing a weather event.)

Day 4: 5 September 2011, Lee has been downgraded to a extra-tropical depression which the Weather Channel will no longer cover, so we're in the clear, or so we will be by 4PM. Breakfast and dinner was on us - we cooked, but lunch, it was every man for themselves, except for momma, we got her what she wanted.

Day 5: 6 September 2011, The sun is shining, my sister and I spent our Labor Day laboring over our mother. Thus far, she's been a good patient,much like TS Lee was a good TS, not too much damage (for the most part,if one considers what happened 6 years ago around this time). My sister and I are back at work for some rest, before we head back home for cooking, cleaning, laundry, and what ever else Momma can find for us to do.

Side note: The chickens loved the weather - it was a worm fest at my house. I'll have to go purchase worms now to go fishing, as they cleaned us out, of that I'm sure!

I hope everyone had a wonderful 3 day break and received some much needed rain!

I got this...

Why is it when we get in trouble, need emotional or physical help, that we, as humans, automatically assume we can handle the issue/problem without any help?

No lengthy post, just a question. We often realize too late that we need someone or multiple someones to help us through the storm.

One of my favorite songs I sing in church a lot, "Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crown, is my motto.

You never know what storm a person is going through, so say a prayer for those you know, and don't know, as God knows all about it.

In prayer...

A little devil all wrapped up in kitty form

Since this little kitten, inappropriately named Dew Drop, has come into our life, she has turned our house upside down.

She chases the dogs, WHAT! She attacks our feet when we least expect it! She wakes us at all hours of the night playing with our feet which we happen to reposition, or finds something that interest her and decides attack is necessary! And yet we tolerate her. We even LOVE her! Yes, love something so honary that she deserves a spanking at every turn.

She has decided that when we eat, she is to eat, too. She gets in an empty chair, puts her front paws on the table and waits very impatiently for something to eat. We've took the paper to her; removed her from the chair; spritzed her with water; nothing fazes her, absolutely nothing! She will fight back at whatever we use to deter her.

She's amazing! She found us, we didn't go looking for her.

She reminds me of Jesus, not that I'm calling Jesus a cat! We, as humans, go kicking and screaming in our own direction and all the while Jesus tries to deter us. Stop us from making mistakes and yet we go head-long into trouble. He comes looking for us, when we should be looking for Him!

One day the dogs will turn on Dew Drop. One day she will really get a spanking she'll never forget and she'll never come close to the table (with us in the room). One day we'll accidentally step on her and hurt her, and she'll never attack our feet/legs again. One day she will learn her place in the house - preferably on the couch or a bed, purring and allowing us to love on her (hahahaha!).

When will we, as God's family, learn our place is beside Jesus? When will we learn to see the signs and avoid the pitfalls ahead of us? When will we do as God says, 2 Chronicles 7:14?

While we wait patiently for Dew Drop to learn her lessons and grow up, as we know she will, how long will we make Jesus wait on us?

Just a thought to ponder....

My yoga practice...

I've seriously let myself down in that I haven't stopped to make time to do my yoga.

I spend my day in a whirlwind trying to please everyone, do for everyone and by the time 9PM arrives, it's bedtime for me and I'm out of hours to do anything for me.

Somewhere, somehow this has to change. I run, walk right now, at lunch because I can't find time to do it after work due to home obligations. How do others fit it in? I barely make it up in time to get to work at 8AM, sometimes I don't get in until 8:15AM and my co-workers are very understanding, the meds I take for all my ills just knocks me out and it's so hard to get started at 6AM.

So where, how? I only need about an hour, or less depending on how the body is feeling, to just decompress, get my yoga on, as my sister says, smile. Maybe a yoga class at lunch, I can rearrange my running days, I'll have to look into it. Either way, I have to get back my yoga and the inner peace I find there.

Namaste!

Ok, after I was rear-ended last Tuesday, it dawned on me that if I had been in a very bad car wreck or some other ill fated injury, no one would know anything about it, other than my family, and co-workers eventually.

My friends would have no idea! Therefore, I came up with this idea of compiling a list of friends with their phone numbers and putting that list in a safe place where my sister would know where it was and could start a call list.

I don't want to be one of those people who die and people don't find out about it until weeks, months, even years later. Nor do I want people to find out about it on facebook! Never has this bothered me in the past, but for some reason it really has been weighing on my mind, really heavy and I'm not sure why.

I'm trying not to let it bother me, but for some reason it does. And in the past, I could care less if/when someone found out about an unfortunate event in my life. Maybe the caring comes with age, or the change is within me, I'll never know.

Instead of racking the brain about it, I'm going to read my 'Yoga at home beyond the basics' while I have 28 minutes left of my lunch break.

Adios....

The loss of a dear friend...

I firmly believe in life animals are put in place to help us learn about death, among other things, and they teach us how to mourn and move on.

Well, for 4 or 5 days Buddy, the neighborhood golden retriever, failed to come for breakfast and dinner - as we fed them faithfully morning and night. Mind you Buddy's hearing was bad, he was older, and he didn't move around as fast as he used to, but he always came for food.

Yesterday, as my sister and I started out to run, our neighbor called my daddy over to the fence and told him they'd found Buddy.

Let me pause here to introduce Black. Black, he is a black labrador retriever, and they were inseparable. Black is a bit younger than Buddy, but Buddy taught him all the places to go for food/water and how to hunt baby rabbits, deer, and move fast from skunks which didn't work all the time, laugh!

We noticed Black stopped hunting, and only came for food and went straight back to Paul's sister's trailer. He didn't move from there.

When Paul told Daddy they had found Buddy, he was under the trailer with Black laying beside him.

Now we have grieved a lot over the loss of Buddy, but Black seems to be taking it harder. His grief is deeper. Buddy had began to smell, that's how they found him, but Black never waned, never left his side, only to eat.

I suspect Black won't be far behind Buddy, not because of his age, but because of his loss. The loss of his dear friend, Buddy.

Rest in peace my Bud-man, we all miss you barking at strangers, chasing cyclist (even though you had no teeth and couldn't bite them, they didn't know it, and we'd laugh as they pedaled double time to get away from you, roflobo!).

We'll miss your presence in the drive way as we arrive home, we'll miss the clumber-some ways you jumped on us, sat on us, and the time I had to pull a bone out of your mouth that you managed to get lodged in the roof of your mouth. Or the time to had to doctor you up after getting into a fight with another dog, or when you got hit and I had to do 'therapy' every day on your leg for a week so you'd not be so stiff.

We'll just miss you and hope you visit us in our dreams!

Another fall...

Ok, so no one in my family has never, ever called me Grace, for one reason, I'm constantly falling.

Yesterday, I go feed/water the chickens and notice one of my hen has 11 eggs and she isn't sitting on them, so I go gather the eggs (in my shirt), go get some hay and as I'm ducking to enter the pen to put them in a nest, bam, it happens, I trip and I had two choices (1) drop the eggs and catch myself, or (2) hit the ground and save the eggs. I, of course, saved the eggs, and planted my left knee in the ground. I was thankful for two things, (1) the ground was soft from all the rain (thank you God!), and (2) it was on the 'good' knee, which might not be so good if I keep falling on it!

I go gather up my two brooding hens who will sit anytime of the day, month, year, and put them on the eggs and to let them decide who's going to be the momma. Wouldn't you know it, neither one of them want the freakin' eggs! Now what kind of brooding hens are they? Usually they fight over a nest of eggs, but nope, not yesterday and not this morning. So I let them out of the pen and I'm hoping beyond hope, one will decide she'd like to be momma and when I get home she'll be sitting. We'll see! If there are no takers, I'm afraid I'll have to disgard them, and I hate to do that because they belong to Chester, my gorgeous Americauna.

I just don't have the time to incubate them, so....

I do have one more brooding hen, my game hen, Topper (named that only because she's a blue top game hen - and I couldn't think of anything else at the time, grin). Only problem is, I can't just pick Top up and put her in the nest, she'll eat me alive, remember, game hen, they aren't nice chickens, AT ALL! So, maybe I'll wait until she goes to roost and I'll go get her and put her on top of the eggs, maybe that'll work. I just hate to put her over them because I have to fight her to get my hands on them to tame them down, urgh.

Anyway, maybe Angel or Muffy will decide they really want to be the momma and go sit.

Until next time....

Cleared for running...

Saw my chiropractor this morning, and he has cleared me for running Sunday. THANK YOU GOD! I was going stir crazy not being able to run all week. I'm now officially a week behind in my training, argh!

I was also cleared for a yoga class this Tuesday, yeah! I'm so excited.

Now, I just need to find a second job to pay for the continuous use of the chiropractor. After 2 visits, $102. Dang, what did he have to do? But I'm not going to complain anymore, my back feels wonderful and I can breath and that's all that matters, for now anyway.

I did make an appt to see him Wednesday, 'cause I always pull my tail-bone out when I do yoga...yuck, I know, but it makes the rest of my body feel good.

(Donna, I'm running Sunday after church, call if you wanna meet me and do the trace. It's a 1.5 mile, not including wu/cd, about 1/4 mile each, so it's a short and easy one, and I'm sure it'll be slow due to being off this week and still nursing the rib head.)

Until next time....

Angry rib-head...

This is a story about my rib-head, so enjoy....

Saturday we all load up and go to Tylertown for our annual July 4th family get together at my uncle's house, and to introduce Lily to all the family.

I'm in the house helping get the food on the tables and my mom yells "Your Aunt Dee and Uncle Milton are here and they have something for you." I wash my hands and head outside thinking my aunt had made some wonderful dish (she's Filipino, and can cook a brick-bat), and as I rounded the house, there it was, a chicken carrier with a chicken in it. My Uncle proudly pulls out this beautiful white, black-tipped Japanese bantam rooster. He was a beauty! I give hugs and ask how much I owe him and they say nothing it's your birthday present. Now I'm really excited! I move him out of the carrier and put him in one of my uncle's little pens out behind his barn and feed and water him. He's good until we leave!

After all the fellowship, food and fish lies, we pack up and I almost forget my rooster. I go running around back and get him out of the pen and put him back in the carrier.

Needless to say, I think this was his first time in a carrier because he didn't know how to stand up in it, so I took him out and held him on top of the carrier all the way home (60 miles). He was a happy little camper and slept most of the way home. He'd had a long day and was tired, no doubt, as were we.

I get him home, but him in his new run and he makes all the rosters start crowing. Mind you, he doesn't even have his crow yet. He's only 4/5 months old, he'll start crowing soon enough I suspect.

At dusk, I go get him a girl and put her in with him, so he's not alone. Chickens are flock animals, they don't like to be alone, just in case you were wondering.

Then Sunday morning, I get up, go feed/water, and he's as happy as can be. He's still not sure about the hen in the run with him, but he'll learn - trust me!

I go inside, very proud of him. I take my shower and get ready for church. As I bend over to reach for my church clothes, I hear something pop and I can't move!

I scream for Michelle and she tries to work it out, but it's no use. She never learned how to put rib-heads back in while she worked with Dr. Rapetti (God rest his soul!). She does her best, and I'm able to stand up, but I end up going to church with fioricet and flexiril and an ice pack.

I spend the rest of the weekend nursing the back. Unable to run, unable to do anything but sit up straight, or lay flat.

Turns out me holding the rooster all the way home was what pulled the rib-head out. I was in such a strain and didn't know it.

Now I have to find a chiropractor to put it back in so I can get back to running! TODAY!

Oh, btw, I named my rooster, Gemmi, cause I'm a Gemini and that was as unique as I could get. Laugh!

Until next time....

Ok, so this has nothing to do with my 1/2 marathon training, but...

it is a funny story!

So most of you know I have a pack of dogs, well I have 2 chichi's (Samson and Maebelle) and my parents have 3 mixed breeds (Teddy and Bubbles, 1/2 jack russell, 1/2 fiest, and Molly, a chiweenie).

Well, Samson is allergic to everything under the sun, including himself, so he's a steroid junky, and on the chunky side to be a chihuahua. (We won't talk about that!) Now, Samson has two types of food that he likes and everything else be dam*ed! He LOVES table food and Beneful (incredi-bites, the tiny version of the regular Beneful), oh and he will eat little Cezar in a can (at 70cents per can, I can't afford that for him and Bella, so he doesn't get it.)

Well, he's still chewing his feet and licking his knees/elbows, whatever you call it, his legs?! I go see our vet, Dr. Chip, yesterday after work and tell him the steroid treatment isn't working and we have to do something different 'cause Sam is blowing up and hassling like he's going to have a heart attack.

Dr. Chip tells me, it's his food, you have to change his food. Inside I'm thinking yea right, he'll starve to death before he eats that canned food you want him on. He's 10 years old and he ain't changing for no body or nothing! Period!

I listen as he explains this and that and we decide Sam is probably allergic to either the beef, chicken, or even the lamb they make the dog food with, but he assures me the venison should do the trick. Ok for you country folks, venison is deer meat. I'm thinking, heck if I can buy my dog deer meat why can't it be legal to buy me deer meat?! Anyway, back to the topic, Samson.

Dr. Chip gives me a can on the house, and tells me to try it, so I get home and show Sam the can and I can see the look of doubt in his eyes. I talk it up and tell him how good it is and then I set it in a chair beside my purse, and I eat dinner. The entire time he's looking, and I can see the wheels a-turning. The entire time I'm praying, Dear God plz let this work.

I open the can and dang it smells good, and all 5 dogs find me in a flash. Where they all came from I'll never know, their noses smelled it son!

I take a spoonful out and give it to Sam, he scarves it down, without even tasting it. Ok, so I put some in a saucer, and warm it up just a tad, and he eats it like he's on death row and it was his last meal. BINGO! I found something he liked. So I pass a spoonful around to all the other dogs - dang, they love it, too.

I'm just glad I didn't bet my paycheck that Samson wouldn't eat it; otherwise, Dr. Chip would be getting my paycheck come tomorrow.

So I called the vet this morning, and told Rebecca, the receptionist, HE LOVED IT!

Therefore, afterwork, I'm off to the vet again to get some deer meat in a can and some dry food, too. I'm sure this is going to set me back a few bucks, I may need to get a second job to feed my Samson.

If he's lucky, he has 4, maybe 6 more years with me, so I'll do what I have to do to make him comfortable, so he doesn't itch all the time.

I'm crossing my finger and praying this is the missing link.

I'll let you know how it goes....

Two-week follow-up...

Ok,it's been exactly two-weeks that I've been training and last Saturday (18 June) I took a spill in the chicken yard on the right side, landed on my bad knee. Now for those of you who know me, know on Mother's Day, I was going to mow my mother's yard for her so it would be nice and pretty when she returned from the motorcycle ride with my daddy. And well the lawnmower treated me like a horse and rider and threw me off backwards on my left side. So now I think I'm even injured! LOL!

So I'm running with an even bummeder (yes I know it's not a word, I have my degree in English, but I can make up knew words, it's called creative writing, consider this a creative piece, grin). My whole right side is in major pain, and my neck is killing me and I have a headache to prove it. But Sunday after Sunday school I put on my big girl panties (sorry guys!) and off the the track I went. It would've been ok, except the track in Sumrall, has an elevation from h*ll! And I had to pull HARD to climb it, but I did my 1.5 miles as scheduled (per my runkeeper training instructions) and the knee complained the entire time, but I persevered.

Yesterday, I get to the gym, because it's run day again, and realized I didn't have my ITB. Geez, am I trying to continue to injure myself?! So I dress out anyway, and run the low elevation 'track' so I don't have to pull the small hills that would've put my knee out of commission for good. It's sore today, but nothing I can't handle.

Oh, btw, I took some meds for the pain, so maybe it will help the knee!

I'm going to run the 1/2 marathon, even if it kills me. I have to now. I told my dad about it on Father's Day and asked him to come (I never ask him to come to my races). He said he wouldn't miss it, we'll see, I may hold him to it.

Oh, and for those who read this, if you could say a prayer for John Caleb who is doing a great work in Haiti, he would greatly appreciate it, I'm sure. God is teaching him to be a great follow of Him! God bless you JC!

Until next time....

1/2 marathon training

Ok, so as Saturday was my birthday, and my last year in my 30s, I decided a few months ago to train for a 1/2 marathon.

Training starts today! I'll report once a week or so, and let everyone know how this goes. I'm doing the Jeff Galloway run-walk-run because I've learned with this fibromyalgia, I can not do day after day of running, it breaks down my body too fast and I can't recover properly, so I'll run-walk-run, every other day and train my way to that 1/2 marathon finish line.

My ultimate goal though, ia a full marathon on my 40th! I may have to have Coach Becky for that one though, we'll see.

If I can get my body to hold up and let me re-train it to exercise, I'll be a happy camper. Cross your fingers (and toes if you can), and say a few prayers.

Until next time....

20 May 2011 - Bike to work Hattieburg

Well as I live in Sumrall, the title should be Bike to work Pinebelt! But oh well, I'll be biking to work on the 20th. Remember, say a prayer for me. I haven't ridden my bike in a long time - no time to ride! Or should I say, I don't tell people no; therefore, I have no time to ride.

Maybe I'll ride my bike all week, weather and body permitting!

Whoop! Whoop!

Good Friday...

so we are off Good Friday, or should it be good Friday? Hmmm, just wondering?

I think I'm gonna sleep late, then after feeding/watering the dogs/chickens, I'm going bike riding - bicycle riding. I sold my motorcycle 'cause I couldn't ride it anymore, hurt my hips, arms, hands, h*ll I'm just one big pain, with or without the cycle, lol!

I'm gonna observe Good Friday by having a good day (crossing my fingers anyway!).

Anyone one wanna join me, you know how to get in touch with me.

32 hours and counting....

How do you mend a burnt bridge...

when the person on the other end doesn't want to re-build? This in lays my heartache!

I fear I'm the cause of the hate shown toward my family, and no matter how much I try to show myself to be a friend and how much I tell this person I love them, their hate/dislike/distaste for me and my family is so thick one could cut it with a knife.

How do you mend a burnt bridge?

So it's been 12 hours...

since the family arrived at the hospital for the birth of my parents first grandchild. And we are still waiting! The baby was originally breech and they were here for a c-section. Well apparently she turned during the night and I'm not sure who decided natural birth was in order, but here we sit, waiting.

Babies have minds of their own, so when she decides to join us, I'll let everyone know....

Until then, go Lilly!

I should, but I don't....

Judge me...
Think you hear what I say...
Justify your words...
I don't have the energy - physically, mentally, nor spiritually
to fight anymore.
It's a slow fade....

Cake update - part 3

Sorry it took so long to blog again...


I finished the cake, it was beautiful, but the birthday girl never said it was pretty (or ugly) or even thank you.  My feelings were hurt, but that's life, you get treated unfairly, but must continue on....


So here's the final product....

Cake update - part 2

Ok, I torted (with chocolate pudding) and crumb-coated all the cakes last night. Yeah!
The gluten-free layers and the 2-6" rounds weren't a problem. 
However, when I went to level one of the bottom 10" layers, the &;^! leveler was off and it cut the cake up something bad.  I almost had a heart attack!
After about 10 minutes of gasping for air, I finally figured out a way to 'fix' it.  I torted the side that was off,  with a few layers of icing and added pudding to make it level and BAM! there it is was, the whole cake looked level. WHEW!
Tonight, I put on the final layers, airbrush and put on the decorations.
I'll be calling James to come get it first thing in the morning, so if anything happens to it after that, it won't be my fault.  LOL!
Pictures will be posted sometime next week.
Until then, happy caking....

Cake update - part 1

Ok, so last night I got out my practice cake, put the icing on, and airbrushed it lime green and electric blue. Airbrushing comes so natural.  Maybe it's because my daddy used to paint cars.  I suppose I'm a chip off the old block.  Grin.


Then I rolled out the fondant (which I forgot to put gumpaste in); cut out a few designs; cut out the letters with tappits (this is where the gumpaste int he fondant would've been handy - it would've dried faster, thus speeding up my work time, but no, the brain wasn't in 5th gear, if it was in a gear at all); and cut out some funky flowers (yes that's the name of the cutter set).


I finished around 9PM, cleaned up and ate a piece of that cake (and 1/2 a sleeve of girl scout cookies) 'cause I was running all out when I made it home from work and didn't take the time to stop and eat.  


Needless to say, my right hand is hurting very bad.  I need to start using my left hand again, I'm ambidextrous you know - get that from my daddy, too.


Stay tuned for more....

Caking news....

As pretty as it was this past weekend, I spent all of it inside.  :-(


My brother's step-daughter is turning 16 this Friday, with a party Saturday, and he asked me to do her cake.  Being the sweet sister that I am, I agreed. 


Saturday, I made 2-10" round cakes and 2-6" round cakes.  Then spent a few hours at his place eating the burgers he grilled...yummy.  


Sunday, I went to church; then made 2 more 6" round cakes - gluten free, for his wife (I'm really not sure why she can't make her own, but when I ask questions like that, I get in trouble with the family, so I keep my mouth shut and do it!); 4 double batches of icing; washed and put up 3 loads of clothes; and managed to watch bits and pieces of Unstoppable and Predator in between all of that.


Needless to say, I am hurting from the top of my head to the end of my toes.  My fingers feel like they are 10xs their normal size and I can barely move them.  My knees feel like I have been standing on concrete for 12 hours straight - bare-footed - close enough, I was in my house-shoes, wrong thing to do, but I hated to wear my shoes....


After work, I have to make a batch of royal icing for piping work I'll do on the cake.  Then I get to practice air-brushing on an extra 6" round I made Saturday.




I even went so far is to have a friend of mine in the UK mail me a set (large & small) of Ann Pickard's funky flower cutters.  Actually, I've been wanting a set since she went to market with them and just couldn't justify the cost, but now...maybe I shouldn't have, but I did, so it's done...grin.


This cake should be just what a 16 year old would like, but one never knows, as my vision is different from theirs but I'm doing this cake labor fee (he only had to buy the ingredients), so I get to do what I want, to some extent any way.


We'll see how it goes.  Cross your fingers....


I'll update next Monday.


Until then happy caking....

Wow...it's been a long time....

since I've spilled the beans (and peas) on what is going on with me.  Hmmm, where to start?!

Nothing much has changed, I'm trying to remember (1) not everyone in this world is bad (just a good majority), (2) life goes on, without us if we aren't careful, (3) yada, yada, yada....

Enough of that stuff...work is busy, family members need prayer, especially my aunt and 2nd cousin, my body is getting worse with no end in site, and I just keep plugging along every day.

Changes at work happen by the dozen these days, and I'm realizing that I'm truly getting old, working with 20 year olds.  My question, when did this happen, me getting older.  Ahhhh!   I don't like it.

Well, that should give you guys something to read, I'll try to update more frequently. (Yeah right, too busy!)

See you on the back side....